I have so much to post on here, yet I never seem to have the time to do it!
Let's see... To follow up from my last post. It's been a week. We were supposed to move today, but that didn't happen. We had to push the closing back to this Friday; something to do with the power company and having to wait on them to get out to the house. I'm praying they go out tomorrow, otherwise we'll have another delay and that will add more stress to my already overloaded burden-backpack.
Why so stressed you ask? Our lease was up October 31. Yes, that was over a month ago. Our property manager was awesome about letting us keep an extra month without an increase in rent. After that, she was kind enough to pro-rate us for an extra week. I'm afraid she won't be so understanding if we have to ask for yet another week.
We're supposed to get an update from the builder tomorrow. I'm really hoping they don't wait until 3 days before our move to say we have to wait again. I'm not a very patient person, nor do I handle stress with the most grace.
Happy Notes: My boys are so stinking beautiful it melts me. I love the way they light up when they see me. The twins have gotten into the habit of giving big hugs and those slimy kisses on a regular basis. I absolutely love it. LOVE IT! Hayden has been pretty snuggly lately, too. He says, "I wanna hold you, Mommy" which means he wants me to hold him. I love that he finally wants to let me love on him again. I thought it was gone forever, but my boy finally wants his Mommy again.
All three boys have been very clingy to their Mama lately. It's really sweet and I love it, but while trying to pack up our house and deal with the holidays, it's made life a little difficult. Cooper crawls after me crying, Lucas sits and bounces while screaming, and Hayden just wraps himself around my legs and I have to drag him around with me.
The twins are teething like crazy. Luke has his bottom two teeth, Cooper has bottom two and one on top. My nipples are so sore, I can barely stand it! Lucas is constantly biting me while breastfeeding. I'm finally ready to start weaning, but the boys just will not cooperate. They won't take bottles if I'm around and they don't really like sippy cups either. I'd prefer to go straight to sippy cups so that I don't have to wean them from breast, bottle, AND sippys, but I don't know how that's going to happen.
We had the twins' 9 month check-up (at 10 months old) last Monday. Lucas is 20lb4oz & 29.25" long. Cooper is 19lb9oz & 29.75" long. My big, chunky boys! I'm so proud :D
Not so happy news is that both of them missed their milestones this visit. Cooper crawls, but isn't pulling up or cruising. Lucas isn't pulling up, cruising, or crawling. Lucas also missed his milestones (rolling over) at his 6 month check-up so he has been referred to Early Intervention for Phyiscal Therapy. Hopefully it won't take long to get His-Laziness back on track.
Hayden is... well, he's two. It's, honestly, terrible. The fit throwing and utter defiance has me pushed to my limits. It amazes me that one minute he will crawl into my lap for snuggles and kisses and then 5 minutes later he is terrorizing his brothers or tearing something apart.
He needs to potty-train, but won't. He refuses. I know he is ready. He came to me the other day and said to me, "Mommy, stinky butt. Change diaper." Why does he get upset when I ask him to use the potty?! Why? What am I doing wrong? I just don't understand.
Punishment is just a nightmare as well. If I take away toys, he throws the worst fits I've ever seen. When I went to put him in time-out yesterday, he asked me to spank him because he wanted to watch cartoons and spanking was faster. Really? Really?! I mean, no, I don't spank him hard, it's just a pop and always on his diaper, so it isn't really a punishment, but it gets his attention. I only use the pop for special circumstances (playing with outlets, kicking his brother in the head, etc.) so please don't think I beat my children. I don't. I swear. Anyway, timeouts now require earplugs for me. He throws himself back against the wall and bangs his head while screaming until his time is up. I'm terrified he's going to hurt himself and I hate the screaming. I hate it hate it hate it.
:( Re-reading this, it sounds like my children are driving me mad. I assure you, they are, but I love every minute of it. I smile more now than I ever have. I never knew that such little people could bring such big happiness. Once we're moved and settled into the house, I know it will get better. I think the stress of, well, everything, is just weighing me down right now.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
1 Week...
...until we move. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm exhausted!
I busted my butt packing up all of the non-essentials yesterday. Michael helped a little. He really hates packing and I really hate that about him because he is more of a distractions than help. Even though I was killing myself with all of the lifting and tugging, I still had a good day.
Michael made all of my meals for me. I have to laugh because that's never happened before. I honestly think the only reason it happened yesterday is because I kept forgetting to eat. As a distraction, he was also very playful. I enjoyed getting to watch him be the main care-giver for the kids for a day. It was a nice change. We typically share baby-duty when he is home, or some days it's all me, but yesterday it was 90% him.
On to more fun matters... the house! It is beautiful. We went out Friday to have a look around. They were installing all of the ceiling fans and light fixtures. It is absolutely gorgeous. I love it. Our cabinets may be my favorite part. They are just so pretty!
We have the twins 9-month check-up this afternoon so I will post their stats a little later :)
I busted my butt packing up all of the non-essentials yesterday. Michael helped a little. He really hates packing and I really hate that about him because he is more of a distractions than help. Even though I was killing myself with all of the lifting and tugging, I still had a good day.
Michael made all of my meals for me. I have to laugh because that's never happened before. I honestly think the only reason it happened yesterday is because I kept forgetting to eat. As a distraction, he was also very playful. I enjoyed getting to watch him be the main care-giver for the kids for a day. It was a nice change. We typically share baby-duty when he is home, or some days it's all me, but yesterday it was 90% him.
On to more fun matters... the house! It is beautiful. We went out Friday to have a look around. They were installing all of the ceiling fans and light fixtures. It is absolutely gorgeous. I love it. Our cabinets may be my favorite part. They are just so pretty!
We have the twins 9-month check-up this afternoon so I will post their stats a little later :)
Thursday, November 12, 2009
We Survived!
As you saw in my last post, the twins were ill and they passed their disease on to Mommy. Turns out, the 3 of us contracted a beautiful case of H1N1. Lucas had a bacterial infection to go with his flu (a high white count). Cooper had a double ear infection to go along with his flu (with a complimentary ER trip on Wednesday... ugh). Mommy got a little bit of Strep and Sinus infection to go along with her's.
Hayden didn't catch anything! It's amazing. When he woke up Saturday and had no symptoms while the twins were sporting their 103/104 fevers, I was relieved and terrified. Instead of letting him hang around and catch what we all had, we asked MIL to take him for the night. After the diagnosis, the over-night trip turned into a 5 day stay and a broken-hearted Mama.
It's been nearly two weeks, but we are all better. The cough is lingering but no where near as bad as it was. Thanks to the power of prayer with a side of Tamiflu and antibiotics, we survived.
House Update: I have no idea what progress has been made this week, but as of Sunday, the drywall was all hung and they were in the process of finishing it. Hopefully we'll go out tomorrow and see what goodness the week brought :)
Hayden didn't catch anything! It's amazing. When he woke up Saturday and had no symptoms while the twins were sporting their 103/104 fevers, I was relieved and terrified. Instead of letting him hang around and catch what we all had, we asked MIL to take him for the night. After the diagnosis, the over-night trip turned into a 5 day stay and a broken-hearted Mama.
It's been nearly two weeks, but we are all better. The cough is lingering but no where near as bad as it was. Thanks to the power of prayer with a side of Tamiflu and antibiotics, we survived.
House Update: I have no idea what progress has been made this week, but as of Sunday, the drywall was all hung and they were in the process of finishing it. Hopefully we'll go out tomorrow and see what goodness the week brought :)
Saturday, October 31, 2009
It's been a month
since I've last posted. Not acceptable. At all. Please feel free to fire me at any time.
Update: We got a house!!! We're building. It's wonderful. We're set to close and move in Nov. 30. I'm going to be quite busy.
Cooper is a crawling machine. Commando style only, but the kid is fast and is getting into everything! He loves to crawl to Hayden's room and play with Brother's toys. He also likes to crawl behind the sofa (no easy feat as there is a table in the way!).
Lucas is lazy. There is no other way to describe it. If he feels he absolutely must get somewhere he either rolls or scoots on his bottom. He hates it when his brothers leave him alone in the living room and cries until I come and carry him to where the other 2 are playing.
Hayden is learning new words every day. His new love is robots and if he can't find one to play with, he builds one out of mega blocks. He is sooooo creative. I love it!
Now, for an immediate update. It's 4 am. I'm sitting in a bathroom with a burned out light bulb. Cooper is on the floor playing with a flashlight, a bath towel, and a hanger. I'm on the computer. We're taking in the steam from the shower. The twins have both been running fevers for 5 hours that refuse to break despite my dosing them with tylenol and motrin every 2 hours. They have nasty coughs that I'm sad to say I'm getting too.
Michael has strep throat, and I think he's shared it will me as well as the twins and their cough. Damn my family and their need to share their germs!!!
Update: We got a house!!! We're building. It's wonderful. We're set to close and move in Nov. 30. I'm going to be quite busy.
Cooper is a crawling machine. Commando style only, but the kid is fast and is getting into everything! He loves to crawl to Hayden's room and play with Brother's toys. He also likes to crawl behind the sofa (no easy feat as there is a table in the way!).
Lucas is lazy. There is no other way to describe it. If he feels he absolutely must get somewhere he either rolls or scoots on his bottom. He hates it when his brothers leave him alone in the living room and cries until I come and carry him to where the other 2 are playing.
Hayden is learning new words every day. His new love is robots and if he can't find one to play with, he builds one out of mega blocks. He is sooooo creative. I love it!
Now, for an immediate update. It's 4 am. I'm sitting in a bathroom with a burned out light bulb. Cooper is on the floor playing with a flashlight, a bath towel, and a hanger. I'm on the computer. We're taking in the steam from the shower. The twins have both been running fevers for 5 hours that refuse to break despite my dosing them with tylenol and motrin every 2 hours. They have nasty coughs that I'm sad to say I'm getting too.
Michael has strep throat, and I think he's shared it will me as well as the twins and their cough. Damn my family and their need to share their germs!!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
My babies
Cooper is an Army Crawling Machine. That kid is FAST! He is into anything and everything but has a love for cords/wires. Awesome...
Lucas did the Army Crawl just long enough to say, "See, I can do it." Now, as he did with rolling, he's tucked it away only to be used in case of emergency... and by emergency I mean there is something he really wants that is out of his reach.
Lucas is starting to wave a little bit. Cooper waves all the time.
C is teething. His bottom right gum is very swollen, so I'm hoping we get our first tooth here soon. Very exciting :)
L is a drool box but nothing is even swollen in that little mouth. He may never have teeth!
They are sitting so well that we've retired the bath slings and they now sit in the tub like the big boys they are (cue dramatic sobbing from the heartbroken mother...).
Hayden's newest words are: instrument, trash can, slippery, and carry you (which means, carry me). He's also learned the fine art of tattling. Michael closed the bathroom door for two seconds while Hayden was in the bath and he lost his mind over it. When I went to smooth things over he looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and said, "Mommy, I'm scared! Daddy closed the door and Hayden cried!"
It was soooooo cute and sad and all of that. Then he told Michael that "Daddy scare me" and when Daddy asked why he said "Daddy closed the door and Hayden cried". That'll teach Daddy! Daddy started crying too and promised to never, ever do it again.
Oh, boys!
Lucas did the Army Crawl just long enough to say, "See, I can do it." Now, as he did with rolling, he's tucked it away only to be used in case of emergency... and by emergency I mean there is something he really wants that is out of his reach.
Lucas is starting to wave a little bit. Cooper waves all the time.
C is teething. His bottom right gum is very swollen, so I'm hoping we get our first tooth here soon. Very exciting :)
L is a drool box but nothing is even swollen in that little mouth. He may never have teeth!
They are sitting so well that we've retired the bath slings and they now sit in the tub like the big boys they are (cue dramatic sobbing from the heartbroken mother...).
Hayden's newest words are: instrument, trash can, slippery, and carry you (which means, carry me). He's also learned the fine art of tattling. Michael closed the bathroom door for two seconds while Hayden was in the bath and he lost his mind over it. When I went to smooth things over he looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and said, "Mommy, I'm scared! Daddy closed the door and Hayden cried!"
It was soooooo cute and sad and all of that. Then he told Michael that "Daddy scare me" and when Daddy asked why he said "Daddy closed the door and Hayden cried". That'll teach Daddy! Daddy started crying too and promised to never, ever do it again.
Oh, boys!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Mind Vomit
Some days I feel like I'm a child playing make-believe.
I go through our routines every single day. I play with my children, care for them, bathe them, change them, dress them, feed them, put them to bed, wake them from sleeping, kiss their "owies", and punish when necessary. For some reason, it doesn't seem real 90% of the time.
Most days, I don't really believe I have children, and then there are the other days. The days where reality comes crashing down around me. Now, don't take that the wrong way. This sudden crash of reality does not incite me to proclaim, "What have I done?!" On the contrary, it evokes a feeling of complacency. Everything around me settles and I know I'm okay, we're okay.
The strangest of these "realizations" is what leads to them. This time around, it was socks. Yes, socks. All of the boys have hit growth spurts and have thus outgrown their socks. When we were at the store at the weekend, I purchased three packages of little socks. Three. Three packs. Three boys. All mine. I don't know why it effected me, but it did.
With the reality of truly having children, also came the reality of how fast they are growing. Again, it was the socks. This time around, I had to go to the little boys section instead of the infant/toddler department to purchase Hayden's socks. That was devastating.
Today, as he climbed on our bed for bit of exercise (or jumping, however you look at those things ;) ) I really got to looking at him. He's so tall! I look at him from behind and argue with myself over what I'm seeing. It seems impossible that he is only 2.5 judging by his size, and yet it seems impossible the he is already 2.5 judging by the feeling that he was born just a few days ago. Watching him in his day by day transformation is unreal. Today, as I studied his face, I realized that nearly all traces of "baby" have left him. I love watching him grow and it is so fun to help him learn new things, but my heart aches at how fast time has moved.
Today, the twins are 8 months old. I am sitting here wondering how that is possible. It just doesn't seem feasible that that much time has past since we welcome our new, tiny, precious additions to our family. It has been such a roller-coaster of emotions and I feel like it's all gone too fast. There were so many days that all I could was pray to make it to the next, pray for a small stretch of sleep, pray for a small break from the crying. Today, I find myself wanting to makea deal. I would go back and struggle through all of our bad days, just to have more time with my babies as babies.
Physically, I feel the full weight of those eight months. I'm exhausted and I look like crap. My hips have yet to recover from the brutal beating they took at the hands of twin-pregnancy and we won't even begin to discuss the awful "twin skin". Michael informed me yesterday that my new "style" makes me appear that I am always on my way to a softball game. It seems I've taken up the easy attire formally known as "jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes". I guess the fact that my hair is never down doesn't work to my advantage either. I could take the time out of my day to style my hair and press my more feminine clothes to make them fit to wear, but that would take away from my already "limited" (yes, I know it's not truly limited, but I feel that it is) time with my boys.
I'm terrified of my babies growing up. I absolutely dread having to let them loose in this world and the fact that I won't always be able to protect them from it. As I read Hayden his bedtime story, I became wistful. The story was telling children that even though they are scared of the dark, of what may be in the dark, the animals in the wilderness, that there is really nothing to fear of the night. I wish with all of my being that those scenerios were true and pausable. I wish that I could make all of the bad in this world disappear.
It makes my head reel to think that the biggest dangers in our world, the biggest threats to my precious babies, were once regarded as other mothers' precious babies. I worry about my children growing up and falling victim to one of those other former-babies turned monsters and part of me wonders if those mothers feared the same as I do, or if they feared, if they'd known, that their babies would become the world's bad dreams?
I feel that I've come to the point in life where you stop seeing things and people as you feel they should be and begin seeing them for what and who they are truly are. In the grand scheme of things, I'm a new mother, not to mention just emerging from teenage years. I've been an "adult" just barely longer than I've been a mother and I'll be the first to admit I've much to learn about life.
I wonder if I am too young to really grasp the world and my surroundings in the way that others do, or if I'll always see them differently. Will my views and opinions on things soften and change as I age? Or will I always be stubborn and headstrong? I wonder if my self-assurance isn't fading with my youth or if maybe my new found fears and insecurities are merely the result of my wisening up.
It seems my head was a bit full this evening. For now, I'll leave the thought process alone and simply say good night.
I go through our routines every single day. I play with my children, care for them, bathe them, change them, dress them, feed them, put them to bed, wake them from sleeping, kiss their "owies", and punish when necessary. For some reason, it doesn't seem real 90% of the time.
Most days, I don't really believe I have children, and then there are the other days. The days where reality comes crashing down around me. Now, don't take that the wrong way. This sudden crash of reality does not incite me to proclaim, "What have I done?!" On the contrary, it evokes a feeling of complacency. Everything around me settles and I know I'm okay, we're okay.
The strangest of these "realizations" is what leads to them. This time around, it was socks. Yes, socks. All of the boys have hit growth spurts and have thus outgrown their socks. When we were at the store at the weekend, I purchased three packages of little socks. Three. Three packs. Three boys. All mine. I don't know why it effected me, but it did.
With the reality of truly having children, also came the reality of how fast they are growing. Again, it was the socks. This time around, I had to go to the little boys section instead of the infant/toddler department to purchase Hayden's socks. That was devastating.
Today, as he climbed on our bed for bit of exercise (or jumping, however you look at those things ;) ) I really got to looking at him. He's so tall! I look at him from behind and argue with myself over what I'm seeing. It seems impossible that he is only 2.5 judging by his size, and yet it seems impossible the he is already 2.5 judging by the feeling that he was born just a few days ago. Watching him in his day by day transformation is unreal. Today, as I studied his face, I realized that nearly all traces of "baby" have left him. I love watching him grow and it is so fun to help him learn new things, but my heart aches at how fast time has moved.
Today, the twins are 8 months old. I am sitting here wondering how that is possible. It just doesn't seem feasible that that much time has past since we welcome our new, tiny, precious additions to our family. It has been such a roller-coaster of emotions and I feel like it's all gone too fast. There were so many days that all I could was pray to make it to the next, pray for a small stretch of sleep, pray for a small break from the crying. Today, I find myself wanting to makea deal. I would go back and struggle through all of our bad days, just to have more time with my babies as babies.
Physically, I feel the full weight of those eight months. I'm exhausted and I look like crap. My hips have yet to recover from the brutal beating they took at the hands of twin-pregnancy and we won't even begin to discuss the awful "twin skin". Michael informed me yesterday that my new "style" makes me appear that I am always on my way to a softball game. It seems I've taken up the easy attire formally known as "jeans, t-shirts, and tennis shoes". I guess the fact that my hair is never down doesn't work to my advantage either. I could take the time out of my day to style my hair and press my more feminine clothes to make them fit to wear, but that would take away from my already "limited" (yes, I know it's not truly limited, but I feel that it is) time with my boys.
I'm terrified of my babies growing up. I absolutely dread having to let them loose in this world and the fact that I won't always be able to protect them from it. As I read Hayden his bedtime story, I became wistful. The story was telling children that even though they are scared of the dark, of what may be in the dark, the animals in the wilderness, that there is really nothing to fear of the night. I wish with all of my being that those scenerios were true and pausable. I wish that I could make all of the bad in this world disappear.
It makes my head reel to think that the biggest dangers in our world, the biggest threats to my precious babies, were once regarded as other mothers' precious babies. I worry about my children growing up and falling victim to one of those other former-babies turned monsters and part of me wonders if those mothers feared the same as I do, or if they feared, if they'd known, that their babies would become the world's bad dreams?
I feel that I've come to the point in life where you stop seeing things and people as you feel they should be and begin seeing them for what and who they are truly are. In the grand scheme of things, I'm a new mother, not to mention just emerging from teenage years. I've been an "adult" just barely longer than I've been a mother and I'll be the first to admit I've much to learn about life.
I wonder if I am too young to really grasp the world and my surroundings in the way that others do, or if I'll always see them differently. Will my views and opinions on things soften and change as I age? Or will I always be stubborn and headstrong? I wonder if my self-assurance isn't fading with my youth or if maybe my new found fears and insecurities are merely the result of my wisening up.
It seems my head was a bit full this evening. For now, I'll leave the thought process alone and simply say good night.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Bandwagon
I just read a post by Susan about not having it all together. It was written because friends of her's had recently written about not having it all together. Tonight, I'm jumping on the bandwagon, and I'm writing about not having it all together, but...
It's going to be different.
Why?
Because I could have it all together.
I'm hiding. I'm hiding from my responsibilities because I'm afraid at failing. If I don't try, I can't fail. I scrape by. I do just enough. My excuse? I'm tired.
Of course I'm tired! I have three children under the age of three. They are boys... and they are all boy.
Yes, the twins are only seven months old. That may seem like an innocent enough age, but you have no idea. They are creative. They are sneaky. They are mean! They pinch and poke and hit one another. They steal each other's paci and toys. When Hayden makes too much noise, Cooper laughs hysterically and Lucas cries like he just saw the Devil himself.
Lucas is... sensitive. He startles easily and is typically the first to cry. He wakes early and takes his time in falling asleep. He can roll over, but he chooses not to; he's lazy. He loathes his excersaucer and his jumperoo. He prefers to sit on the floor and play with his toys. When he falls over, by choice or by accident, he expects me to immediately come to his rescue and help him back up. He bites during nursing, and when I say "No!" he rolls his bottom lip out and breaks my heart with the pout, which always precedes the saddest cry you've ever heard. His smile will warm your heart and he very forceful about giving "hugs" and sloppy kisses. He is my Lucas.
Cooper is mischief. Plain and simple. He laughs at everything. He rolls and scoots and finds his way around. I've caught him behind the entertainment center chewing on wires. His latest "game" is crawling to the fire place and playing with the screen (it's the furthest he's gotten before Hayden says, "No Brother! Yuck!"). He steals his brother's paci, even if he has his own. He must grab at whatever you have: drink, food, phone, computer, paper, pen, EVERYTHING! He has the cutest little crooked grin and an ear-piercing cry. He is my Cooper.
Hayden has an aversion to the word "no". He makes as much noise as possible, at all times of the day. He hates to go to sleep, for fear that he will miss something important. He loves his brothers so very much and showers them with affection. He doesn't realize that the twins are not as big as he is, nor as durable, and he is often playing too rough with them (or just trying to hit, kick, or sit on them). He loves to share his food with them, even if it is a CheezeIt that I end up digging out Cooper's throat. He likes to say "Mommy" over and over and over and over until I want to scream, at which point he smiles and says, "Luss you." He is the sweetest, smartest, funniest little boy I've ever known. He is my Hayden.
They are amazing and perfect, but they never stop. I am always tending to one of them, and on the rare occasion that I'm not, there is a mess to clean up or laundry to do. My job is never-ending.
Most days, I am lucky to get a hug and a kiss from Michael in between all of the "child tending" that goes on of an evening. I rarely get a "thank you" unless it's from Hayden who knows Mommy likes manners.
BUT... that's changing. Since I broke my foot, housework isn't easy, and Michael has gladly taken up the slack. This is the biggest and best "thank you" he could give me. Tonight, I made mention to how great I think it is that someone voluntarily fed our twins their solids (no easy feat as they like to make it as difficult as possible) when they didn't have to. Michael replied that it's even more impressive when they are your kids. He then told me that everything I do for all of our kids, every single day, is amazing. It brings tears to my eyes just to type it.
Even if the "thanks" are few and far between, they may my job worth it. They make me want to get it all together, and to keep it all together.
I have a mountain of laundry to fold, and a sink full of dishes to wash, and three little boys who require my attention... so I'll get it all done, and I'll even try to keep a smile on my face while I do it.
I'll smile, because I'm not alone in this journey, and thankfully, Susan reminded me of that :)
It's going to be different.
Why?
Because I could have it all together.
I'm hiding. I'm hiding from my responsibilities because I'm afraid at failing. If I don't try, I can't fail. I scrape by. I do just enough. My excuse? I'm tired.
Of course I'm tired! I have three children under the age of three. They are boys... and they are all boy.
Yes, the twins are only seven months old. That may seem like an innocent enough age, but you have no idea. They are creative. They are sneaky. They are mean! They pinch and poke and hit one another. They steal each other's paci and toys. When Hayden makes too much noise, Cooper laughs hysterically and Lucas cries like he just saw the Devil himself.
Lucas is... sensitive. He startles easily and is typically the first to cry. He wakes early and takes his time in falling asleep. He can roll over, but he chooses not to; he's lazy. He loathes his excersaucer and his jumperoo. He prefers to sit on the floor and play with his toys. When he falls over, by choice or by accident, he expects me to immediately come to his rescue and help him back up. He bites during nursing, and when I say "No!" he rolls his bottom lip out and breaks my heart with the pout, which always precedes the saddest cry you've ever heard. His smile will warm your heart and he very forceful about giving "hugs" and sloppy kisses. He is my Lucas.
Cooper is mischief. Plain and simple. He laughs at everything. He rolls and scoots and finds his way around. I've caught him behind the entertainment center chewing on wires. His latest "game" is crawling to the fire place and playing with the screen (it's the furthest he's gotten before Hayden says, "No Brother! Yuck!"). He steals his brother's paci, even if he has his own. He must grab at whatever you have: drink, food, phone, computer, paper, pen, EVERYTHING! He has the cutest little crooked grin and an ear-piercing cry. He is my Cooper.
Hayden has an aversion to the word "no". He makes as much noise as possible, at all times of the day. He hates to go to sleep, for fear that he will miss something important. He loves his brothers so very much and showers them with affection. He doesn't realize that the twins are not as big as he is, nor as durable, and he is often playing too rough with them (or just trying to hit, kick, or sit on them). He loves to share his food with them, even if it is a CheezeIt that I end up digging out Cooper's throat. He likes to say "Mommy" over and over and over and over until I want to scream, at which point he smiles and says, "Luss you." He is the sweetest, smartest, funniest little boy I've ever known. He is my Hayden.
They are amazing and perfect, but they never stop. I am always tending to one of them, and on the rare occasion that I'm not, there is a mess to clean up or laundry to do. My job is never-ending.
Most days, I am lucky to get a hug and a kiss from Michael in between all of the "child tending" that goes on of an evening. I rarely get a "thank you" unless it's from Hayden who knows Mommy likes manners.
BUT... that's changing. Since I broke my foot, housework isn't easy, and Michael has gladly taken up the slack. This is the biggest and best "thank you" he could give me. Tonight, I made mention to how great I think it is that someone voluntarily fed our twins their solids (no easy feat as they like to make it as difficult as possible) when they didn't have to. Michael replied that it's even more impressive when they are your kids. He then told me that everything I do for all of our kids, every single day, is amazing. It brings tears to my eyes just to type it.
Even if the "thanks" are few and far between, they may my job worth it. They make me want to get it all together, and to keep it all together.
I have a mountain of laundry to fold, and a sink full of dishes to wash, and three little boys who require my attention... so I'll get it all done, and I'll even try to keep a smile on my face while I do it.
I'll smile, because I'm not alone in this journey, and thankfully, Susan reminded me of that :)
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Heartbreak
For nearly a year and a half, Michael and I have been shopping for our first home. In the beginning, we didn't have the credit needed, and really had no way of truly establishing it. Thankfully, the bank gave us an out and told us what to do. For one year, we simply had to pay our bills on time and have the companies issue a "letter of credit". Easy enough. A year came and went, and the letters were issued.
Fast-forward to February of 2009. Letters issued and in hand, we went back to the bank, met the lendor, and got the ball rolling. I quit my job in November because of being pregnant with the twins, so we are a one-income family. Michael had only been with his job for 1 year 6 months when we applied. They waited until nearly June and then insisted he be employed for 2 years before approving us. Even though we had been looking at houses for months,again, we waited. August arrives and the lendor calls to say we can now begin looking house again, So we do.
We have seen countless houses, all of them lacking in one area or another. Finally, last week, we sat down and revised out list of "must-haves" and brought it down to the bare essentials. Still, only one house really looked promising.
Tonight we went and saw the house. It was excellent. It had it all. I was in love the moment I walked through the door. My MIL and FIL both met us there to see the house as well, and both were in agreement that it was just what we needed. Not only did it have all we need, it had all we want. Excellent.
We told Stacey (our realtor, and a woman of much patience... she needs it with us as clients :)) that we were ready to move forward. We set a time to go in and sign the contract tomorrow. We were elated!
As we pulled out of the drive, the seller arrived and asked, "Is the buyer here?" We replied that we were just looking but were hoping to be the buyers. She then tells us, it's already under contract.
I immediately phoned Stacey, who then phoned the listing agent who confirmed those horrible words, "Someone else already signed a contract on it."
I couldn't help but cry as soon as she told me. My heart broke. I looked in the rearview mirror at my beautiful children and I sobbed.
This house, the one we're tirelessly searching for, it isn't for us. It's for our children. Tonight, we thought our prayers had been answered and within minutes it was all swept out from beneath us.
I'm praying that a miracle house just happens into our laps, because our lease is up in 7 weeks and we have to do something. Please pray with us.
Fast-forward to February of 2009. Letters issued and in hand, we went back to the bank, met the lendor, and got the ball rolling. I quit my job in November because of being pregnant with the twins, so we are a one-income family. Michael had only been with his job for 1 year 6 months when we applied. They waited until nearly June and then insisted he be employed for 2 years before approving us. Even though we had been looking at houses for months,again, we waited. August arrives and the lendor calls to say we can now begin looking house again, So we do.
We have seen countless houses, all of them lacking in one area or another. Finally, last week, we sat down and revised out list of "must-haves" and brought it down to the bare essentials. Still, only one house really looked promising.
Tonight we went and saw the house. It was excellent. It had it all. I was in love the moment I walked through the door. My MIL and FIL both met us there to see the house as well, and both were in agreement that it was just what we needed. Not only did it have all we need, it had all we want. Excellent.
We told Stacey (our realtor, and a woman of much patience... she needs it with us as clients :)) that we were ready to move forward. We set a time to go in and sign the contract tomorrow. We were elated!
As we pulled out of the drive, the seller arrived and asked, "Is the buyer here?" We replied that we were just looking but were hoping to be the buyers. She then tells us, it's already under contract.
I immediately phoned Stacey, who then phoned the listing agent who confirmed those horrible words, "Someone else already signed a contract on it."
I couldn't help but cry as soon as she told me. My heart broke. I looked in the rearview mirror at my beautiful children and I sobbed.
This house, the one we're tirelessly searching for, it isn't for us. It's for our children. Tonight, we thought our prayers had been answered and within minutes it was all swept out from beneath us.
I'm praying that a miracle house just happens into our laps, because our lease is up in 7 weeks and we have to do something. Please pray with us.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
In-Laws
Many people are unfortunate in that they don't get along with their in-laws. I am not one of those people.
Michael's family is incredible. His mother is always willing to help us out with watching the boys if we need to be somewhere and can't take the kids, or if we simply want a night to ourselves. She's even braved a trip to Kentucky with the boys and I just so my family could meet the twins.
His father is equally wonderful and always willing to help us in any way that he can. He and his wife, Debra, showed their generosity in extremes today. We went over for dinner and were greeted with 6 boxes of diapers (4 for the twins, 2 for Hayden), 84 jars of baby food, 2 boxes of oatmeal, 2 packs of wipes, and a stash of other goodies. When we asked them why they did this, they responded, "Because we can."
I'm very blessed to have such wonderful in-laws. Good thing Michael has superb in-laws too ;).
Yes, you did see that I said diapers for the twin. Yes, I did post recently that we had switched to cloth. I love my cloth diapers. They are awesome, they don't leak, they are cute, and they are cheap. However, they aren't so cheap as to be free. I'm not one to turn my nose up at a generous gift, so we will use the gift diapers and I will just be thankful that I have a little less laundry to wash while we do :).
Michael's family is incredible. His mother is always willing to help us out with watching the boys if we need to be somewhere and can't take the kids, or if we simply want a night to ourselves. She's even braved a trip to Kentucky with the boys and I just so my family could meet the twins.
His father is equally wonderful and always willing to help us in any way that he can. He and his wife, Debra, showed their generosity in extremes today. We went over for dinner and were greeted with 6 boxes of diapers (4 for the twins, 2 for Hayden), 84 jars of baby food, 2 boxes of oatmeal, 2 packs of wipes, and a stash of other goodies. When we asked them why they did this, they responded, "Because we can."
I'm very blessed to have such wonderful in-laws. Good thing Michael has superb in-laws too ;).
Yes, you did see that I said diapers for the twin. Yes, I did post recently that we had switched to cloth. I love my cloth diapers. They are awesome, they don't leak, they are cute, and they are cheap. However, they aren't so cheap as to be free. I'm not one to turn my nose up at a generous gift, so we will use the gift diapers and I will just be thankful that I have a little less laundry to wash while we do :).
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Black & Blue & Broken
Yesterday evening, a lady came by to pick up some things we were giving away. When she walked in, my living room was a bit trashed. We had a blanket spread out with toys everywhere. Hayden was playing with his toys in there and the twins were in their exersaucer and jumperoo. As soon as she looked in there, she asked, "Oh! Do you run a daycare?" Hmph! NO! They're mine!
After that fun, I was helping her carry two big boxes of pots and pans down to her car. Stupid me missed the last couple of steps and had a nice fall. The box hit my leg leaving a nice cut and large bruise. It also struck me under the chin which left a small cut, big bruise, and threw my head back giving me a, now, stiff neck. My shoulder came down on the railing leaving it bruised in an area that is about 6 inches wide and 3 inches long. My head hit the corner of the post, which left me seeing stars and with an awful head ache.
I also cut my ankle. Now, as I said, I hit my head, and I don't remember the specifics of what my body did when I fell. My ankle didn't hurt after I fell, so I didn't think anything of it until I bent down later in the evening and heard a loud "pop". After that, I could barely walk and my ankle swelled to the size of a softball. We went and had xrays done this morning and found that the foot is fractured right below my ankle. I've also pulled every ligament and tendon in my ankle.
Can I just say that I hurt? A lot?
I like to do things the right way. :)
After that fun, I was helping her carry two big boxes of pots and pans down to her car. Stupid me missed the last couple of steps and had a nice fall. The box hit my leg leaving a nice cut and large bruise. It also struck me under the chin which left a small cut, big bruise, and threw my head back giving me a, now, stiff neck. My shoulder came down on the railing leaving it bruised in an area that is about 6 inches wide and 3 inches long. My head hit the corner of the post, which left me seeing stars and with an awful head ache.
I also cut my ankle. Now, as I said, I hit my head, and I don't remember the specifics of what my body did when I fell. My ankle didn't hurt after I fell, so I didn't think anything of it until I bent down later in the evening and heard a loud "pop". After that, I could barely walk and my ankle swelled to the size of a softball. We went and had xrays done this morning and found that the foot is fractured right below my ankle. I've also pulled every ligament and tendon in my ankle.
Can I just say that I hurt? A lot?
I like to do things the right way. :)
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
They love me...
Really. They do.
Hayden has gotten into this cute little habit of saying "Mommy" about 15 times until I am annoyed... finally, after the 15th "What?" He touches my face, smiles, and says, "Luss you." He also comes up to me and randomly asks for "Big hugs!" or just wants to snuggle. He loves sitting in my lap under a blanket, and I have to say, I love it, too.
He melts me.
Cooper and Lucas flash me the biggest smiles when they see me in the morning. They start "talking" and telling me all about their nights. When I pick them up in the mornings, or during the day when they've been fussing, they just give me the biggest little hugs (oxymoron, I know). When they nurse, they reach up and play with my face, and for the past 2 nights, Cooper has slept 12 hours. Last night, even Lucas joined in.
They melt me.
The most amazing thing about all three of my boys, is that when they see their brothers, they all smile. Knowing that they are all so young, yet have already developed this bond amazes me. The love they have for each is more precious than anything I've ever seen.
I really love being a mom. There's nothing like it.
Hayden has gotten into this cute little habit of saying "Mommy" about 15 times until I am annoyed... finally, after the 15th "What?" He touches my face, smiles, and says, "Luss you." He also comes up to me and randomly asks for "Big hugs!" or just wants to snuggle. He loves sitting in my lap under a blanket, and I have to say, I love it, too.
He melts me.
Cooper and Lucas flash me the biggest smiles when they see me in the morning. They start "talking" and telling me all about their nights. When I pick them up in the mornings, or during the day when they've been fussing, they just give me the biggest little hugs (oxymoron, I know). When they nurse, they reach up and play with my face, and for the past 2 nights, Cooper has slept 12 hours. Last night, even Lucas joined in.
They melt me.
The most amazing thing about all three of my boys, is that when they see their brothers, they all smile. Knowing that they are all so young, yet have already developed this bond amazes me. The love they have for each is more precious than anything I've ever seen.
I really love being a mom. There's nothing like it.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Frustration
For the past year and a half, Michael and I have been trying desperately to buy a house. We need a house. We need space for the three growing giants we call children. We need a yard for said giants to go out and play and absorb vitamin D the all-natural way. We need a kitchen that is big enough for two adults to stand it and not bump into each other at every turn.
We've finally found a great house. A perfect house. A house that is within our price range and actually meets all of our picky criteria. Okay, not all of it. There is one big flaw. People live in the house! No, not the owners. Renters. Renters who have a lease through March of next year. If we purchase this house, it is listed as "rental property" which means our loan will not cover it. Perfect house isn't so perfect anymore.
Michael said he feels selfish because he is insisting that the home we buy has a bonus room or finished basement. Well, it is a little selfish, but I understand why he wants it. I want it, too. I don't, however, want to continue living in a second story apartment until the perfect vacant house becomes available.
End rant.
We've finally found a great house. A perfect house. A house that is within our price range and actually meets all of our picky criteria. Okay, not all of it. There is one big flaw. People live in the house! No, not the owners. Renters. Renters who have a lease through March of next year. If we purchase this house, it is listed as "rental property" which means our loan will not cover it. Perfect house isn't so perfect anymore.
Michael said he feels selfish because he is insisting that the home we buy has a bonus room or finished basement. Well, it is a little selfish, but I understand why he wants it. I want it, too. I don't, however, want to continue living in a second story apartment until the perfect vacant house becomes available.
End rant.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
What's in a name?
Shakespeare had it all wrong. A name, or a title to be more accurate, is pretty important in some situations.
This past weekend, Michael and I had a kid-free night and went out on a date. Our server at the restaurant was a girl he was in band with in high school.
He never introduced us. Why? Because he didn't know what to call me.
We seem to be hitting this snag a lot lately. When we are speaking of our relationship to one another, we call each other "spurse". Close to "spouse" but not quite. We have agreed that we are not "boyfriend/girlfriend". Personally, I've always hated those words. We are much, much more than that. We aren't married, so "husband/wife" isn't appropriate either.
The confession came out. He typically calls me his wife when speaking to other people. Hearing him refer to me as his wife made me realize just how important that particular title is to me. I'm not his wife, and I don't want to be his "pretend wife".
I really thought I was okay with us not being married, but since that conversation, I find myself wanting to be his real wife more than ever. For the first time, I fully grasp just how complicated our situation is and I don't think I like it.
This past weekend, Michael and I had a kid-free night and went out on a date. Our server at the restaurant was a girl he was in band with in high school.
He never introduced us. Why? Because he didn't know what to call me.
We seem to be hitting this snag a lot lately. When we are speaking of our relationship to one another, we call each other "spurse". Close to "spouse" but not quite. We have agreed that we are not "boyfriend/girlfriend". Personally, I've always hated those words. We are much, much more than that. We aren't married, so "husband/wife" isn't appropriate either.
The confession came out. He typically calls me his wife when speaking to other people. Hearing him refer to me as his wife made me realize just how important that particular title is to me. I'm not his wife, and I don't want to be his "pretend wife".
I really thought I was okay with us not being married, but since that conversation, I find myself wanting to be his real wife more than ever. For the first time, I fully grasp just how complicated our situation is and I don't think I like it.
Waving Babies and Resourceful Toddlers
My children never fail to amaze me. Last week, when I said "Hi" to Lucas one day, he raised his hand as if to wave. I brushed it off as just a coincidence, albeit an adorable one!
Today, after the twins were finished nursing and we were just snuggling, Cooper looks up at me and full on waves. When I waved back and asked him to do it again, he just laughed and laughed and laughed.
My boys can wave! They can barely sit. They don't even know crawling exists, yet they can wave! Absolutely incredible.
Now to my resourceful two-year-old. He came into the bedroom and asked to get on the bed with the twins and I while I nursed. I don't let him do this, as he is a major distraction to C&L and they prefer to watch him play than to eat. I told him he couldn't get up there, so he went to living room, emptied his basket of balls, brought the basket in the bedroom, turned it upside down, and climbed up on the bed. Even a toddler knows that "where there's a will, there's a way"!
Today, after the twins were finished nursing and we were just snuggling, Cooper looks up at me and full on waves. When I waved back and asked him to do it again, he just laughed and laughed and laughed.
My boys can wave! They can barely sit. They don't even know crawling exists, yet they can wave! Absolutely incredible.
Now to my resourceful two-year-old. He came into the bedroom and asked to get on the bed with the twins and I while I nursed. I don't let him do this, as he is a major distraction to C&L and they prefer to watch him play than to eat. I told him he couldn't get up there, so he went to living room, emptied his basket of balls, brought the basket in the bedroom, turned it upside down, and climbed up on the bed. Even a toddler knows that "where there's a will, there's a way"!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Guilt.
Since having Hayden I have learned so much about parenting (obvious, I know!). Everything we did with him was an experiment in a way.
Trying out every brand of disposable diapers out there, and discovering that huggies contain forceful poops much better than pampers. We also learned that even week old babies can blow-out a diaper... and leak all over their daddies :)
Trying out every brand of formula because he was so gassy. Infamil made him so gassy, he did nothing but cry. Infamil Gentle-Ease (and it's Target generic) took away the gas, but made him so constipated, all he did was cry. Good Start Supreme took away his gas issues, and let him poop with ease. Good Start reaches gold standard in our opinion.
Breastfeeding was not easy and it doesn't just "come naturally". Introducing a bottle too early will make baby become lazy and refuse the breast. Using a cheap pump will not produce results. Not pumping as often as baby eats will not produce enough to feed baby.
It seems like everything we did with Hayden, we're doing differently with the twins. We're doing it right this time. Better. I feel guilty about this because I feel like Hayden lost out. I feel like I'm a better mom this time around.
We've been using huggies since the boys moved to size 2 diapers. Pampers Swaddlers worked better for them in the beginning since they were so little. Now we are about to make the transition to cloth. Cloth is MUCH cheaper and, from the looks of it, pretty easy. It also goes without saying, cloth is much better for our environment. I never even considered cloth for Hayden. I kind of wish I had.
I wasn't able to breastfeed Hayden and it bothered me for a long time. I tried to exclusively pump but I didn't know what I was doing. My ignorance was my downfall. I learned that it's very important for first-time breastfeeders to work closely with a good lactation consultant. The one had I with Hayden wasn't very helpful, and didn't call back when we had our crisis of him refusing to latch. With the twins, the lactation consultant met with me every day we were in the hospital. She and the nurses showed me how to correct a poor latch and really helped me get comfortable feeding the twins. I'm very glad that I'm still able to breastfeed them both. It's something I really enjoy, and it's made it easier to bond with both babies. Still, part of me feels that I've cheated Hayden, and that makes me feel awful.
With Hayden, we started solids right before 4 months. I feel like I rushed him a bit, but he took to them right away and did great. I never thought about making his baby food; he was 100% a Gerber Baby. It just seemed so pointless and time consuming. Now, I only use homemade baby food for the twins (unless we are out) and it's great! It's cheap, it's easy, and I actually enjoy the time I get to spend making it. I don't feel that it is any better for my babies than Gerber foods, especially since Gerber runs their own farms and so their produce is probably better monitored than the foods I buy.
Then, there is part of me that thinks I'm doing something wrong with the twins. I know that every baby is different, but I can't help but compare. By 4 months, Hayden was sleeping 14 hours every night, without waking at all. By 6 months he was sitting independently and starting to crawl. Cooper rolls everywhere, but hasn't even attempted to get on all fours. Lucas rolls when he has too, but no more than that. You can forget about crawling, as I think he's content to lie on his back until he's 2. Both can sit for a few seconds, but throw themselves backward and just don't really "get" the whole balance thing. They are nearly 7 months old! I feel like they are behind, and I feel like it's somehow my fault.
I feel like the twins get so much more from me than Hayden did because I worked full-time when he was a baby. I know he is getting that time with me now, but I don't feel that it's enough. I just want the very best for my kids. I know that I've done all that I can for them, but part of me feels like that isn't enough.
Geez. Talk about Mommy Guilt.
Trying out every brand of disposable diapers out there, and discovering that huggies contain forceful poops much better than pampers. We also learned that even week old babies can blow-out a diaper... and leak all over their daddies :)
Trying out every brand of formula because he was so gassy. Infamil made him so gassy, he did nothing but cry. Infamil Gentle-Ease (and it's Target generic) took away the gas, but made him so constipated, all he did was cry. Good Start Supreme took away his gas issues, and let him poop with ease. Good Start reaches gold standard in our opinion.
Breastfeeding was not easy and it doesn't just "come naturally". Introducing a bottle too early will make baby become lazy and refuse the breast. Using a cheap pump will not produce results. Not pumping as often as baby eats will not produce enough to feed baby.
It seems like everything we did with Hayden, we're doing differently with the twins. We're doing it right this time. Better. I feel guilty about this because I feel like Hayden lost out. I feel like I'm a better mom this time around.
We've been using huggies since the boys moved to size 2 diapers. Pampers Swaddlers worked better for them in the beginning since they were so little. Now we are about to make the transition to cloth. Cloth is MUCH cheaper and, from the looks of it, pretty easy. It also goes without saying, cloth is much better for our environment. I never even considered cloth for Hayden. I kind of wish I had.
I wasn't able to breastfeed Hayden and it bothered me for a long time. I tried to exclusively pump but I didn't know what I was doing. My ignorance was my downfall. I learned that it's very important for first-time breastfeeders to work closely with a good lactation consultant. The one had I with Hayden wasn't very helpful, and didn't call back when we had our crisis of him refusing to latch. With the twins, the lactation consultant met with me every day we were in the hospital. She and the nurses showed me how to correct a poor latch and really helped me get comfortable feeding the twins. I'm very glad that I'm still able to breastfeed them both. It's something I really enjoy, and it's made it easier to bond with both babies. Still, part of me feels that I've cheated Hayden, and that makes me feel awful.
With Hayden, we started solids right before 4 months. I feel like I rushed him a bit, but he took to them right away and did great. I never thought about making his baby food; he was 100% a Gerber Baby. It just seemed so pointless and time consuming. Now, I only use homemade baby food for the twins (unless we are out) and it's great! It's cheap, it's easy, and I actually enjoy the time I get to spend making it. I don't feel that it is any better for my babies than Gerber foods, especially since Gerber runs their own farms and so their produce is probably better monitored than the foods I buy.
Then, there is part of me that thinks I'm doing something wrong with the twins. I know that every baby is different, but I can't help but compare. By 4 months, Hayden was sleeping 14 hours every night, without waking at all. By 6 months he was sitting independently and starting to crawl. Cooper rolls everywhere, but hasn't even attempted to get on all fours. Lucas rolls when he has too, but no more than that. You can forget about crawling, as I think he's content to lie on his back until he's 2. Both can sit for a few seconds, but throw themselves backward and just don't really "get" the whole balance thing. They are nearly 7 months old! I feel like they are behind, and I feel like it's somehow my fault.
I feel like the twins get so much more from me than Hayden did because I worked full-time when he was a baby. I know he is getting that time with me now, but I don't feel that it's enough. I just want the very best for my kids. I know that I've done all that I can for them, but part of me feels like that isn't enough.
Geez. Talk about Mommy Guilt.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Return!
I haven't even logged into my blog since Tammy died. Part of me was afraid to see her blog and read it... and end up crying even more. I just needed a week (ok, a little more than that :)) to regroup. But I am back, with every intention of keeping this thing updated!
Took C&L to their 6 month check up a few weeks back.
Cooper- 17lbs7oz & 27.75"
Lucas- 17lb4oz & 27.75"
They are staying pretty close in their sizes, which is great for me as I don't have babies wearing two different sizes of clothing. Cooper had his big growth spurt after he was born, but he needed it to catch up with his chunky brother.
Lucas is finally rolling around a little. After I threatened him with Early Intervention (on two seperate occassions) he rolled both ways (after both threats!). So I just need to threaten him on a daily basis to get him moving. Excellent.
Hayden was moved into a big boy bed (!!!!) last week. It's going great so far. I'm really proud of him. The first two nights he cried for a few minutes when we left him, but settled down shortly. The next two nights went over great. He just smiled at us and said "night, night". Last night he passed out on the couch and had to be moved to his bed, so that was just cute :).
Took C&L to their 6 month check up a few weeks back.
Cooper- 17lbs7oz & 27.75"
Lucas- 17lb4oz & 27.75"
They are staying pretty close in their sizes, which is great for me as I don't have babies wearing two different sizes of clothing. Cooper had his big growth spurt after he was born, but he needed it to catch up with his chunky brother.
Lucas is finally rolling around a little. After I threatened him with Early Intervention (on two seperate occassions) he rolled both ways (after both threats!). So I just need to threaten him on a daily basis to get him moving. Excellent.
Hayden was moved into a big boy bed (!!!!) last week. It's going great so far. I'm really proud of him. The first two nights he cried for a few minutes when we left him, but settled down shortly. The next two nights went over great. He just smiled at us and said "night, night". Last night he passed out on the couch and had to be moved to his bed, so that was just cute :).
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Potty-Training Woes (A looong post about POOP!)
Hayden is 2 years and 3.5 months old. We started potty training right around his 2nd birthday. Now this may seem a little late to you seasoned mommies but we had good reasons.
Hayden was only 21 months when the twins were born. At his 18 month check-up our pediatrician, who also has twins, told us to hold off on potty-training and any other major adjustments until after I delivered. The logic behind this is that he would most likely regress once the twins were born in order to reclaim lost attention. So we waited.
At first, he was very excited about his new potty but only went once or twice and then totally lost interest. I've been pushing the potty a lot more lately and so far, it's only at an "ok" status. If he is over-tired or more interested in playing, he screams when we put him on. If he is in a good mood and being my sweet boy, he will go pee-pee with no fuss. These trips to the potty are celebrate with lots of clapping and loud "YAY!"s and telling him how good, big, wonderful, smart, etc. he is.
Then there is poop. He always tells me after he has pooped. 99% of the time he finds a quiet spot all alone in order to handle his business and then he promptly tells me of his dirty deed and requests to be changed. Friday morning, I put him in the bath tub and let him play for a few minutes while I tended to Cooper and Lucas. I went back to check on him and he says, "Mommy, poop." I asked if he needed to go, and he said yes. I told him to get out of the tub, and he said no. I asked where his poop was, he told me butty (in Hayden language, this means he hadn't gone yet... you get the drift). So I casually swish the bubbles around only to find a nice pile of poo. He sees it and freaks out! The kid is terrified of poop and always says "Yuck" and "Shew!" when I change him.
We had a long talk about not pooping in the bathtub and only pooping in the potty (something he has yet to do even once). Fast-forward to Monday. Again, morning bath. Suddenly I hear him scream for me. I go in to see what the fuss is about and he points at the water and says, "POOP!" There is no poop in the tub. He has to go, so he thinks the water is dirty. I put him on the potty and he tells me "No. Dipey." He refuses to poo on the potty and actually requests that get him a diaper. This defeats the whole purpose of potty-training.
What the hell am I going to do?
Hayden was only 21 months when the twins were born. At his 18 month check-up our pediatrician, who also has twins, told us to hold off on potty-training and any other major adjustments until after I delivered. The logic behind this is that he would most likely regress once the twins were born in order to reclaim lost attention. So we waited.
At first, he was very excited about his new potty but only went once or twice and then totally lost interest. I've been pushing the potty a lot more lately and so far, it's only at an "ok" status. If he is over-tired or more interested in playing, he screams when we put him on. If he is in a good mood and being my sweet boy, he will go pee-pee with no fuss. These trips to the potty are celebrate with lots of clapping and loud "YAY!"s and telling him how good, big, wonderful, smart, etc. he is.
Then there is poop. He always tells me after he has pooped. 99% of the time he finds a quiet spot all alone in order to handle his business and then he promptly tells me of his dirty deed and requests to be changed. Friday morning, I put him in the bath tub and let him play for a few minutes while I tended to Cooper and Lucas. I went back to check on him and he says, "Mommy, poop." I asked if he needed to go, and he said yes. I told him to get out of the tub, and he said no. I asked where his poop was, he told me butty (in Hayden language, this means he hadn't gone yet... you get the drift). So I casually swish the bubbles around only to find a nice pile of poo. He sees it and freaks out! The kid is terrified of poop and always says "Yuck" and "Shew!" when I change him.
We had a long talk about not pooping in the bathtub and only pooping in the potty (something he has yet to do even once). Fast-forward to Monday. Again, morning bath. Suddenly I hear him scream for me. I go in to see what the fuss is about and he points at the water and says, "POOP!" There is no poop in the tub. He has to go, so he thinks the water is dirty. I put him on the potty and he tells me "No. Dipey." He refuses to poo on the potty and actually requests that get him a diaper. This defeats the whole purpose of potty-training.
What the hell am I going to do?
Monday, July 20, 2009
I'm torn
I LOVE being a SAHM. I love spending all day, every day with my kids. I know that this life isn't for every Mom and I completely respect that. I feel very blessed that we are able to this because I think my kids truly benefit from it.
Now, that being said, I miss my job. I miss my freedom and my independence. I'm having a really hard time being just a SAHM. I know, I know. Taking care of three kids is a full-time job all on its own but it doesn't help pay the bills. Maybe it's because Michael and I aren't married, but I feel like I'm just living off of him and not really giving anything back.
Financially, we are ok. We have to live within our means, but who doesn't these days? I just wish that I could contribute somehow. I miss having my own income. I loathe asking Michael for money whenever I need something. I may as well take a knife and jab it straight into my pride whenever I have to do that.
The bank that I used to work for has a full-time position open. It isn't the same branch that I was previous at, but it is the same region. A big part of me wants to go back, but I would miss my kids terribly. I just don't know what to do. Michael doesn't want me to go back to work, and honestly, I don't think I do either.
It may sound petty, but to sum it all up, I just want my own income. How selfish is that?
Now, that being said, I miss my job. I miss my freedom and my independence. I'm having a really hard time being just a SAHM. I know, I know. Taking care of three kids is a full-time job all on its own but it doesn't help pay the bills. Maybe it's because Michael and I aren't married, but I feel like I'm just living off of him and not really giving anything back.
Financially, we are ok. We have to live within our means, but who doesn't these days? I just wish that I could contribute somehow. I miss having my own income. I loathe asking Michael for money whenever I need something. I may as well take a knife and jab it straight into my pride whenever I have to do that.
The bank that I used to work for has a full-time position open. It isn't the same branch that I was previous at, but it is the same region. A big part of me wants to go back, but I would miss my kids terribly. I just don't know what to do. Michael doesn't want me to go back to work, and honestly, I don't think I do either.
It may sound petty, but to sum it all up, I just want my own income. How selfish is that?
Mayhem
Cooper was my peanut when the twins were born. He weighed in at 1lb 3 oz less than Lucas, but has since surpassed his younger twin in height, weight, and now milestones. He can roll from his back to his belly with no problem, but when he is on his belly, he won't roll back. Now, it's not that he can't roll back over, because he can. I've watched him do it. He just prefers to cry and have me do it for him I think. He can sit up on his own for a few seconds before falling over. He can scoot around on both his back and his belly. He can find toys that he's dropped and he can pick them up and chew on them.
Lucas is a slug. He can roll from his tummy to his back, but like Cooper, he just won't. He is close to rolling back to tummy, but he's too lazy to give himself that last little push. He can sit for a few seconds, but gets mad while doing it. He loves his feet and always wants to hold them and sometimes even bite them. He is pretty good at grabbing for toys, but can't find them once he's dropped them. Overall, he is my lazy baby. He startles so easily, and gets scared by everything. Loud noises, strangers, Hayden growling... you name it, he's scared of it. He rolls that bottom lip out and starts screaming. He is a baby baby.
On the collective twin front there are solid foods. I hate feeding them solids. Those 3 times of day are my absolute worst. It is messy and requires so much patience. There are days where I can't feed them fast enough, and others where they would rather spray me with food than actually eat it. Breastfeeding two babies is 100 times easier than spoon-feeding two babies.
Hayden is all over the place. He has decided that his time is best spent playing alone in his bedroom with the door closed. During the short periods of time he exits his room, he loves to lay on the floor with his brothers. He can make them laugh easier than anyone else and love to watch him run around. He thinks they are awesome and gives them hugs and kisses all the time. He is learning new words every day. We have pictures throughout the house and he thinks it's fun to point out who all the people are. He has learned to shoot the basketball instead of dunk it and can actually make it about 1 shot out of 5. He is also learning to hit a ball with a bat when it is tossed to him. The tee-ball bit is old news to him. He wants more of a challenge. He is utterly defiant but at the same time, he loves his Mommy. One minute he is getting in trouble for hitting and telling me "no", and the next he is asking for "big hugs" and giving me sweet kisses. Potty training is a work-in progress. That's a post for another day.
I love my kids. They really are my life.
Lucas is a slug. He can roll from his tummy to his back, but like Cooper, he just won't. He is close to rolling back to tummy, but he's too lazy to give himself that last little push. He can sit for a few seconds, but gets mad while doing it. He loves his feet and always wants to hold them and sometimes even bite them. He is pretty good at grabbing for toys, but can't find them once he's dropped them. Overall, he is my lazy baby. He startles so easily, and gets scared by everything. Loud noises, strangers, Hayden growling... you name it, he's scared of it. He rolls that bottom lip out and starts screaming. He is a baby baby.
On the collective twin front there are solid foods. I hate feeding them solids. Those 3 times of day are my absolute worst. It is messy and requires so much patience. There are days where I can't feed them fast enough, and others where they would rather spray me with food than actually eat it. Breastfeeding two babies is 100 times easier than spoon-feeding two babies.
Hayden is all over the place. He has decided that his time is best spent playing alone in his bedroom with the door closed. During the short periods of time he exits his room, he loves to lay on the floor with his brothers. He can make them laugh easier than anyone else and love to watch him run around. He thinks they are awesome and gives them hugs and kisses all the time. He is learning new words every day. We have pictures throughout the house and he thinks it's fun to point out who all the people are. He has learned to shoot the basketball instead of dunk it and can actually make it about 1 shot out of 5. He is also learning to hit a ball with a bat when it is tossed to him. The tee-ball bit is old news to him. He wants more of a challenge. He is utterly defiant but at the same time, he loves his Mommy. One minute he is getting in trouble for hitting and telling me "no", and the next he is asking for "big hugs" and giving me sweet kisses. Potty training is a work-in progress. That's a post for another day.
I love my kids. They really are my life.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Welcome!
Jumping on the blog bandwagon. Hopefully this will let me clear my head as well as keep up a nice "journal" on my kids and their shinanigans.
Enjoy :)
Enjoy :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)