Wednesday, August 26, 2009

What's in a name?

Shakespeare had it all wrong. A name, or a title to be more accurate, is pretty important in some situations.

This past weekend, Michael and I had a kid-free night and went out on a date. Our server at the restaurant was a girl he was in band with in high school.

He never introduced us. Why? Because he didn't know what to call me.

We seem to be hitting this snag a lot lately. When we are speaking of our relationship to one another, we call each other "spurse". Close to "spouse" but not quite. We have agreed that we are not "boyfriend/girlfriend". Personally, I've always hated those words. We are much, much more than that. We aren't married, so "husband/wife" isn't appropriate either.

The confession came out. He typically calls me his wife when speaking to other people. Hearing him refer to me as his wife made me realize just how important that particular title is to me. I'm not his wife, and I don't want to be his "pretend wife".

I really thought I was okay with us not being married, but since that conversation, I find myself wanting to be his real wife more than ever. For the first time, I fully grasp just how complicated our situation is and I don't think I like it.

2 comments:

  1. I agree with disliking the terms 'boyfriend/girlfriend.' Way too impersonal and junior highish. Jeremy and I never called ourselves that either (although the relationship that it implies is understood).

    If you do decide to get married and have a nice ceremony, invite me! :)

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