Today has been truly fantastic. The last few months have flown by in a blur of parties, illness, errands, and other madness. I can't remember the last time Michael and I spent any quality time together and it was really starting to wear on us.
We finally caught a break in our busy lives and had a wonderful, relaxing Sunday. I feel like this weekend was God's answer to my recent prayers. So many weights have been taken from my shoulders and I couldn't be happier or feel more blessed.
In our attempts to really get a hold on our house (remember those New Year Resolutions? Remember I wanted to finish decorating?), we finally purchased new furniture for our bedroom. It is absolutely gorgeous. I've found myself just standing in the doorway and smiling at that beautiful, cherry-finish wood so many times this weekend. Michael has done the same so I don't feel any guilt :)
We're finally putting the finishing touches on our wedding plans and I am just ecstatic. I've really been feeling the pressure and have been terrified that things weren't going to be "perfect" because I haven't had the time to really put a ton of effort into our wedding. I have really been struggling with my load lately and to have the wedding nearly taken care of just let's me breath a little easier.
Taking 14 credit hours this semester and planning our wedding for the week of finals is cerainly a little crazy. Add in the facts that we have three toddlers and I habitually over-commit myself... I've barely been able to tread water. The stress of my over-packed schedule has not only effected me physically, but mentally as well. I don't think I've been as good of a mother to my children as they deserve and I cannot express how much guilt I feel for that.
Not only do I have the relief of getting the wedding under control, but I am also feeling relief that we finally have Hayden in counseling for his OCD. Ms. Joanne has been an incredible blessing and her enthusiasm for working with my son has given me so much hope. Having her as a resource will, I'm certain, prove to be invaluable to our family. She has already helped Michael and I so much by answering our questions and giving us suggestions for handling Hayden's meltdowns (and how to know which behaviors are the result of the disorder and which are the result of him being three).
This week is another insanely busy week, but we will take it in stride. I'm certain this post has been nothing if not incoherant, but I'm exhausted. There are so many things going on in our life right now that I feel the good things need to be shouted. I've voiced two of the major successes, but another is simply Michael. As we talk more and more to our families and each other about our wedding, I can't help but feel peaceful. I'm so excited to celebrate our marriage with our family and friends and to share the last name Ramsey with my husband and our children.
I'm marrying my best friend. The man who makes me laugh like no one else ever has, who has seen me at my worst (giving birth, going a week without showering - you try fitting in a shower with newborn twins and a one year old!, baby blues, the loss of my father, the rejection of friends, etc.) and still says that he loves me. The person who comforts me after a nightmare, cares for me when I'm sick, dries my tears, and laughs at my horrible jokes. He tolerates my singing, even though I can't carry a tune, and indulges my whims. He calls me out when I'm losing my temper, and he has my back when I'm feeling defeated. He's the man who let me sleep in last Saturday and then served me breakfast in bed. He keeps every card I've crafted and letter I've written, no matter the tone or the content. He's not afraid to cry in front of me, to dance with me or sing with me. He is my best friend and the father of my children. He is mine and I am his. When I hold his hand or look into his eyes, I know that everything is okay because we are together and, together, we can do anything.
For these reasons, and 1,000,000 more, I can't wait to say, "I do."
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