Three years ago today marked the final day of my childhood. Reflecting back on these few years makes me see just how much our world has changed. Michael and I have both become very different people ( and trust me, it's for the better ). We've grown up and grown together. The journey was far from smooth sailing, but it's been the most amazing time.
I think I'm just as nervous today as I was 3 years ago. In 2007, I was anxiously awaiting the next morning, when my labor would be induced and our first born son would be welcomed into this world. Today, I'm dreading tomorrow morning, when my first born son turns 3. I don't know why, but 3 is a big number for me. I feel that it marks the end of his being a baby. I know that our future holds even greater adventures for us, but I'm sad to see my baby becoming such a big boy.
He changed us. He gave our lives meaning and filled our hearts with a love so strong it hurts. In the past three years, we have worked harder than we ever will again. We've built a family and a home. I think back to the carefree days before Hayden and I feel empty. None of it matters. None of those "fun times" compare to the fun I've had since becoming a mom.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Moments I love
I feel like time is just slipping from us and so many things in our lives are thing I never want to forget, yet I've done nothing to note them, so here I go!
We've recently fenced in our backyard which means the boys are free to roam and play as they like. Cooper as tried to eat rocks. Lucas has successfully eaten mulch. Both of the twins have taken it upon themselves to roll around in the mulch and look like swamp-babies. They think it's hilarious and, though I'll never say it out loud, so do I :)
Hayden's first time out in the fenced yard wasn't as pleasant as I had expected. He wasn't happy that he couldn't get to the drop-off and throw rocks down the hill. His solution? He tried to dig his way out under the fence. Like a dog. He didn't get far, but it's the fact of the matter. He finally opted for throwing what few rocks he could find over the back of the fence. He was so proud of himself when they went over, I think I'll fill a bucket for him next time :)
Cooper loves to find corners to crawl in. He wedges himself between the entertainment center and the wall and just sits and smiles. He is going to be like his Mama when he gets older. I'll never be able to find him. He's funny. He laughs all the time. He's happy and sweet and incredibly mischievous. He is independent and plays well on his own, but he loves to cuddle. He and Hayden get along so well. He loves crawl on top of Hayden and "pin" him. Hayden is such an awesome big brother. He lets Cooper pick and poke and crawl on him and is very gentle with him. When Hayden is told to go to his room and play (because he is SO loud) he looks at his brothers and says, "C'mere Lucas! C'mon Cooper! Let's go play." I LOVE IT!
Lucas and Cooper have been playing together more. It's quite sweet. They laugh at one another and talk in their cribs. Lucas will randomly go up to Cooper and give him hugs and kisses. It makes me melt.
Hayden is also very affectionate to his brothers lately. When they get hurt, he holds them. He will tell them "I love you my (Lucas/Cooper)". When I took Cooper away for a diaper change one day, Hayden ran after me yelling "I want my Cooper back!" So sweet.
I love our life so much. I never want to forget these days. As our boys grow and bond, it's like watching magic happen. I want to remember it forever.
We've recently fenced in our backyard which means the boys are free to roam and play as they like. Cooper as tried to eat rocks. Lucas has successfully eaten mulch. Both of the twins have taken it upon themselves to roll around in the mulch and look like swamp-babies. They think it's hilarious and, though I'll never say it out loud, so do I :)
Hayden's first time out in the fenced yard wasn't as pleasant as I had expected. He wasn't happy that he couldn't get to the drop-off and throw rocks down the hill. His solution? He tried to dig his way out under the fence. Like a dog. He didn't get far, but it's the fact of the matter. He finally opted for throwing what few rocks he could find over the back of the fence. He was so proud of himself when they went over, I think I'll fill a bucket for him next time :)
Cooper loves to find corners to crawl in. He wedges himself between the entertainment center and the wall and just sits and smiles. He is going to be like his Mama when he gets older. I'll never be able to find him. He's funny. He laughs all the time. He's happy and sweet and incredibly mischievous. He is independent and plays well on his own, but he loves to cuddle. He and Hayden get along so well. He loves crawl on top of Hayden and "pin" him. Hayden is such an awesome big brother. He lets Cooper pick and poke and crawl on him and is very gentle with him. When Hayden is told to go to his room and play (because he is SO loud) he looks at his brothers and says, "C'mere Lucas! C'mon Cooper! Let's go play." I LOVE IT!
Lucas and Cooper have been playing together more. It's quite sweet. They laugh at one another and talk in their cribs. Lucas will randomly go up to Cooper and give him hugs and kisses. It makes me melt.
Hayden is also very affectionate to his brothers lately. When they get hurt, he holds them. He will tell them "I love you my (Lucas/Cooper)". When I took Cooper away for a diaper change one day, Hayden ran after me yelling "I want my Cooper back!" So sweet.
I love our life so much. I never want to forget these days. As our boys grow and bond, it's like watching magic happen. I want to remember it forever.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Because I suck at blogging
I thought I would just do a brief update.
Lucas is walking!!!! He's so stinking cute with his zombie baby moves. Yes, he's been at it for about a month, but I'm slack and am just now documenting it. Oops.
Cooper can walk. Cooper does not want to walk. Cooper chooses not to walk. One day. Or maybe not. If he crawls to his high school graduation, well, that's his problem and I refuse to let it get me down. He did say "hi" while waving at me today, so I'll take it.
Hayden is potty-trained. ( I would like to take this time to thank the Potty Gods for smiling down on us. Three kids in diapers is more than I ever dreamed. Our bank accounts thank you, too. ) He is also speeding toward his 3rd birthday. With every day that passes, I notice changes in him. His sentence structure is phenomenal. He is extremely tall. He is incredibly mean and defiant. You can't win 'em all I suppose.
Michael is wonderful as always. Tonight, I was late coming in from the gym (just wait... I'll tell you) and got home to find him cooking a lovely dinner for me. He even set the table! That's a big move considering this is a man who is BLIND to detail. Goodness I love him!
The lone girl of the family has been making some changes. I love my boys (all four) but living my life souly for them has really taken a toll on me lately. I finally decided "today is the day" that I needed to change for myself and for my family. After all, when Mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy. SO! Mommy is going back to school. Class starts May 17. I'm thrilled. I'm also conquering my fitness goals. I WILL lose 40 pounds by the end of summer. Just watch me!
Alas, dinner is waiting...
Lucas is walking!!!! He's so stinking cute with his zombie baby moves. Yes, he's been at it for about a month, but I'm slack and am just now documenting it. Oops.
Cooper can walk. Cooper does not want to walk. Cooper chooses not to walk. One day. Or maybe not. If he crawls to his high school graduation, well, that's his problem and I refuse to let it get me down. He did say "hi" while waving at me today, so I'll take it.
Hayden is potty-trained. ( I would like to take this time to thank the Potty Gods for smiling down on us. Three kids in diapers is more than I ever dreamed. Our bank accounts thank you, too. ) He is also speeding toward his 3rd birthday. With every day that passes, I notice changes in him. His sentence structure is phenomenal. He is extremely tall. He is incredibly mean and defiant. You can't win 'em all I suppose.
Michael is wonderful as always. Tonight, I was late coming in from the gym (just wait... I'll tell you) and got home to find him cooking a lovely dinner for me. He even set the table! That's a big move considering this is a man who is BLIND to detail. Goodness I love him!
The lone girl of the family has been making some changes. I love my boys (all four) but living my life souly for them has really taken a toll on me lately. I finally decided "today is the day" that I needed to change for myself and for my family. After all, when Mama ain't happy, ain't NOBODY happy. SO! Mommy is going back to school. Class starts May 17. I'm thrilled. I'm also conquering my fitness goals. I WILL lose 40 pounds by the end of summer. Just watch me!
Alas, dinner is waiting...
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Laney Grace
It seems that anyone with children and a Facebook page knows about this little girl. Even if you tried to avoid it (like me) you've still seen it on your friends pages or statuses. More than likely, you've even been solicited to fan Rufflebutts in support of sweet Laney Grace.
I tried to avoid it. I never clicked the links that were posted. I never read about this girl and I never fanned Rufflebutts. Heartless? Maybe. No, actually, that isn't true either. Too much heart perhaps. I didn't just not become a fan of Rufflebutts, I didn't ignore it either. I left it there as a reminder that this girl was suffering.
I didn't, and still don't, want to know what horrible battle she was fighting. The fact that she was so young and obviously induring something painful and tragic was already more than I want to bear. I kept that reminder so that she stayed in my thoughts, but I couldn't bring myself to get in too deep.
As a mother to three small, healthy, rambunctious boys, I'm incredibly greatful for their health and well-being. When they drive me absolutely mad, I try to remind myself that there are mother's out there who would give their last breath to be able to experience what I see as a burden. So many families have lost their children far too young and never even get the opportunity to yell at them or be on the verge of baldness thanks to their children's antics. I recognize, appreciate, and respect that whole-heartedly.
Why did I avoid Laney Grace and her cause? The answer can be found in the end of her story. She lost her battle. She is gone. Her family is suffering from a pain that I beg God I never have to go through. The thousands (if not millions) of people who have been affected by her story have shed tears and hugged their children tighter. They've followed her story and have been devestated at any set-backs and elated at her appearant triumphs. In short, they became attatched. I can't do that anymore.
I'm angry. I am so incredibly infuriated because despite my efforts of avoiding everything related to this child, I am still heartbroken for the loss of her precious life. I don't have to know what disease she had or how much pain she indured to know that Heaven has gained another angel and that a family here on Earth has lost one of their main reasons for living.
Quite frankly, it pisses me off. This is why I avoid these stories. The unjustified loss of a child is beyond the range of things I'm capable of handling. Obviously...
I tried to avoid it. I never clicked the links that were posted. I never read about this girl and I never fanned Rufflebutts. Heartless? Maybe. No, actually, that isn't true either. Too much heart perhaps. I didn't just not become a fan of Rufflebutts, I didn't ignore it either. I left it there as a reminder that this girl was suffering.
I didn't, and still don't, want to know what horrible battle she was fighting. The fact that she was so young and obviously induring something painful and tragic was already more than I want to bear. I kept that reminder so that she stayed in my thoughts, but I couldn't bring myself to get in too deep.
As a mother to three small, healthy, rambunctious boys, I'm incredibly greatful for their health and well-being. When they drive me absolutely mad, I try to remind myself that there are mother's out there who would give their last breath to be able to experience what I see as a burden. So many families have lost their children far too young and never even get the opportunity to yell at them or be on the verge of baldness thanks to their children's antics. I recognize, appreciate, and respect that whole-heartedly.
Why did I avoid Laney Grace and her cause? The answer can be found in the end of her story. She lost her battle. She is gone. Her family is suffering from a pain that I beg God I never have to go through. The thousands (if not millions) of people who have been affected by her story have shed tears and hugged their children tighter. They've followed her story and have been devestated at any set-backs and elated at her appearant triumphs. In short, they became attatched. I can't do that anymore.
I'm angry. I am so incredibly infuriated because despite my efforts of avoiding everything related to this child, I am still heartbroken for the loss of her precious life. I don't have to know what disease she had or how much pain she indured to know that Heaven has gained another angel and that a family here on Earth has lost one of their main reasons for living.
Quite frankly, it pisses me off. This is why I avoid these stories. The unjustified loss of a child is beyond the range of things I'm capable of handling. Obviously...
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
ONE
My babies are one today. My heart broke just a little when I woke up and realized it.
Looking back over the past year, I'm quite proud of our family. We've faced our shared of challenges- sleepless night, screaming times two, double the diapers, etc - but we've had a great deal of wonderful times as well.
I woke up this morning, not to sounds of crying, but to my baby boys chatting to each other in their cribs. When I went to get them, I found they had both taken off their pants and thought it was just the funniest thing! When I sang "Happy Birthday" to them, they both giggled hysterically, stood up and reached out to me. It made me realize that even though the day says they're toddlers, they're still MY babies.
Today marks the end of my breastfeeding our boys... or does it? When I began whimpering about "my last day of nursing" to Michael this morning, he simply said, "You don't have to stop." I know that I don't, but I also know that it has to stop sometime. I'll let you know tomorrow if that day is today...
I know we have many more adventures ahead of us and I'm excited to face them with my family. Afterall, our new-toddlers are what made us complete. :)
Looking back over the past year, I'm quite proud of our family. We've faced our shared of challenges- sleepless night, screaming times two, double the diapers, etc - but we've had a great deal of wonderful times as well.
I woke up this morning, not to sounds of crying, but to my baby boys chatting to each other in their cribs. When I went to get them, I found they had both taken off their pants and thought it was just the funniest thing! When I sang "Happy Birthday" to them, they both giggled hysterically, stood up and reached out to me. It made me realize that even though the day says they're toddlers, they're still MY babies.
Today marks the end of my breastfeeding our boys... or does it? When I began whimpering about "my last day of nursing" to Michael this morning, he simply said, "You don't have to stop." I know that I don't, but I also know that it has to stop sometime. I'll let you know tomorrow if that day is today...
I know we have many more adventures ahead of us and I'm excited to face them with my family. Afterall, our new-toddlers are what made us complete. :)
Monday, January 18, 2010
2009
We had a great year in 2009. We started the year by welcoming our twins into our lives and we closed the year by buying and moving into our first home.
The months in between were full of ups and downs, but we made. We had lots of fights and tears but even more hugs and laughter.
Michael and I grew together as a couple and grew more into our roles as parents. We watched our family get acquainted and adjust to being a group of 5. Our boys have grown closer and closer and are now quite the little trio.
We definitely write 2009 off as a success. Here's to hoping 2010 brings just as much joy!
The months in between were full of ups and downs, but we made. We had lots of fights and tears but even more hugs and laughter.
Michael and I grew together as a couple and grew more into our roles as parents. We watched our family get acquainted and adjust to being a group of 5. Our boys have grown closer and closer and are now quite the little trio.
We definitely write 2009 off as a success. Here's to hoping 2010 brings just as much joy!
We decked our halls, but it wasn't a silent night
Christmas was a time of fun and excitement in our house this year! Hayden really caught on to the celebration and took it alllll in. He met Santa and asked for dinosaurs. When anyone asked what Santa was bringing him, he replied, "Dinosaurs! PRESENTS! TOYS!"
We went for a drive after dark a few nights before Christmas and he was just mesmerized by the lights. He saw and inflatable Santa and yelled "HE'S COMING!!!!!" with such intensity I nearly wrecked the car. Every few houses he would scream, "MOMMY! MOOOORE lights!" It was the sweetest, cutest, funniest thing I'd ever seen or heard.
Since we didn't move into our house until December 5, we were a little late putting up our tree. We finally got around to it about 1 week before the holiday. We waited to do it until the boys were all asleep which turned out to be a big mistake! At 6 am the morning after the tree went up, there was a little boy in our bedroom yelling, "Mommy! There's a CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!" He was sooooo excited that when I mumbled about him going back to bed, it made him cry. I felt so bad and let him crawl into bed with Mommy and Daddy. (I'll save the can of worms that opened for another post :) )
Christmas Eve was a late night for us as we spent the evening at Michael's mother's house. After putting the twins to bed and getting Hayden in his pajamas, we grabbed the comuter to check out Santa's location only to see: "Santa is currently in Atlanta, GA. Next Stop: Charleston, SC ETA 2 minutes!" Seeing that I was very much in the holiday spirit, I yelled at Hayden that Santa would be here ANY minute and he had to go sleep or else Santa wouldn't leave him any presents. I have never seen a child run so fast to go to bed. He jumped right in, covered up, and said, "Night night, Mommy. Sleep! Santa is cooooming!" I wish it was Christmas Eve every night!
Christmas morning was lots of fun. It was so wonderful to watch all of our boys open their gifts and get so excited over their new things. This was our first Christmas with our family complete and it was honestly a perfect Christmas.
I can't wait to spend many more Christmases with our family.
We went for a drive after dark a few nights before Christmas and he was just mesmerized by the lights. He saw and inflatable Santa and yelled "HE'S COMING!!!!!" with such intensity I nearly wrecked the car. Every few houses he would scream, "MOMMY! MOOOORE lights!" It was the sweetest, cutest, funniest thing I'd ever seen or heard.
Since we didn't move into our house until December 5, we were a little late putting up our tree. We finally got around to it about 1 week before the holiday. We waited to do it until the boys were all asleep which turned out to be a big mistake! At 6 am the morning after the tree went up, there was a little boy in our bedroom yelling, "Mommy! There's a CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!" He was sooooo excited that when I mumbled about him going back to bed, it made him cry. I felt so bad and let him crawl into bed with Mommy and Daddy. (I'll save the can of worms that opened for another post :) )
Christmas Eve was a late night for us as we spent the evening at Michael's mother's house. After putting the twins to bed and getting Hayden in his pajamas, we grabbed the comuter to check out Santa's location only to see: "Santa is currently in Atlanta, GA. Next Stop: Charleston, SC ETA 2 minutes!" Seeing that I was very much in the holiday spirit, I yelled at Hayden that Santa would be here ANY minute and he had to go sleep or else Santa wouldn't leave him any presents. I have never seen a child run so fast to go to bed. He jumped right in, covered up, and said, "Night night, Mommy. Sleep! Santa is cooooming!" I wish it was Christmas Eve every night!
Christmas morning was lots of fun. It was so wonderful to watch all of our boys open their gifts and get so excited over their new things. This was our first Christmas with our family complete and it was honestly a perfect Christmas.
I can't wait to spend many more Christmases with our family.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)